#idk man i suck ass at tagging
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I can't actually tell if I like this drawing or not but Urr... Yeah whatever its done
#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#artwork#my art#the garden#vada vada#the garden band#fletcher shears#uhhh#clay..... tha song#idk man i suck ass at tagging
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something simple to try to get out of art block (it didn't work)
#alek art#ninjago#zane julien#2024#i am very unhappy with this and sooo in order to feel better i am going to talk about him#system zane is very real to me. i always give him six main alters (but i do believe there is more lol)#systems cannot just pick and choose who front depending on the day i am very aware (i am a system) its more on the nose symbolism#the fifth one crossed out is the ice emperor. in canon he exists in zane's mind as an “alter ego” of sorts which is crazy to me#character has canon dissociative episodes... amnesia... and several different “personalities” / identities? sounds familiar idk#i talked a lot about this hc on my long ass zane hc post thanks for the ask btw npderzane#its not an au its just how i see him so just imagine every zane i draw as system zane. ill only specify it in the tags if its system related#that one post thats like. 'being a did system sucks which one of us poured instant coffee in the bathtub!' thats the average zane experience#he wakes up and everyones like “mannn zane you were going crazyyy on prime empire yesterday” and hes like ??? i did not play any video games#and then he looks at the calender and 6 months have passed. semi true story that happened to me#also alters having incredibly different food preferences is funny. zane doesnt eat anything ever vs boone who eats raw meat sometimes#zane having really weird characterization? and its very inconsistent / bad writing uhhh alek explanation is hes a system and nobody can mask#man its 1 pm :|#i hate this drawing so much i dont even want to look at it but it took time so ill post it#i also have another zane drawing in my drafts i should post. from like 2 months ago???
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Now Presenting: Sophia Rhone
#i genuinely do not wish to even acknowledge the emotional turmoil that was this drawing#i WASNT sure if I should tag the besties westies so I didn't for safe value#at least Sophia is pretty#NEVER AGAIN WILL I DRAW SOMETHING SO DETAILEF#WTF IS THIS PRSK? GET A LIFE#can you tell I gave up because I did 😁😁😁#i wanted to move TF ON#im proud of hee dress tho 😭#she Lowkey looked like Marie before I quote on quote fixed it#she still kinda does#Idk man this isn't even really my art style#but I cant even GRT MY ASS TO ACTUALLY DRAW IN THAT DTYLE#onto the simping#Sophia can I have your son#i don't know shit about the father in this situation but he probs sucks so#have me instead#pls#hey#HELLOOOOO#Lol#ok bye im tired 😭#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#redacted sophia
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said this on birdapp earlier cuz I've seen it but if you're planning to redesign Tallulah for the love of god don't take away her curly hair. you can separate her from that man if you change the beanie and sweater (even so people draw more the mushroom hat and the sweater depends on the artist) but her curly hair is part of her identity <- read her admin saying that short and curly hair is canon for Tallulah
that man doesn't own curly hair, his isn't that curly to be honest. not to the extent people draw Tallulah's hair anyway, she's also like one of the few eggs that is constantly drawn with curly hair
I could go on a tangent on how curly haired people (me included btw) struggle with self image and how it always end up with permanently straightening the hair but I feel like it's a conversation for another moment
but yeah the main point is please don't take away her main traits, same goes for her being mexican and having hearing aids
#qsmp#discourse#qsmp tallulah#this feels very silly to say but idk as a curly haired person that identifies with Tallulah cuz we share it#it just kinda sucks that the few canon traits that she has are being erased just for that man#when changing her clothes and beanie is more than enough#I'll defend curly hair until the day I die. so many times ppl have called mine messy and not classy or elegant sucks ass#ask to tag#cuz idk what to put#btw I've talked with curly haired ppl and we barely get curly hair in media. it sucks that the crumbs we have are getting erased :/#cuz of a fuckass white man#qsmp fandom crit#I guess
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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me when I remember that I suck and people hate my entire existence
#honestly like if you ever think ‘I’m gonna send this person all the reason I don’t like them’ on anonymous#maybe just take 0.2 seconds to consider how long it might affect them for#like in the last 4 weeks I’ve cried like every day#had to go on new meds#and isolated myself from like most people#so like idk maybe just consider if anonymous hate is worth it#but like I guess people that send anon hate want to hurt you deeply#but like idk man it’s just fucked#didn’t mean to write an essay in the tags#just think it’s absolutely fucked up that I now don’t have a safe space on the internet#and I will remember what those messages said for the rest of my life probs so ouch#rsd sucks ass btw
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My The Honjin Murders review
I was enjoying it…until…I wasn’t 💀
#so interesting and then becomes so stupid and unearned!#useful i guess in terms of understanding closed room tricks#more than anything it just reminded me…of everything i fucking hate about detective novels and why I don’t read them…#maybe im just not the audience for these novels but like the emotional truth was so fucjking stupid and unearned! in my opinion!#all tricks..no heart…without a doubt…one to SKIP#in terms of potential dna that went into umi…the names of Kenzo and Ginzo stood out but maybe theres only a similarity to a non jp reader#in addition to the idea of an unusual number of fingers being a major identifying feature#but idk idk….much less than what I initially thought there would be. maybe even none#its very…tell instead of show with the emotions and it disappointed me so much#like idk its not that i dont like mystery in general or even detective stories. I love columbo! but like. it just. sigh.#not the dazzling emotional classic of famliy drama i was imagining#and i found the trick so stupid smhhhhh#removing it from my post about the podcast episode lol bc like this sucked bro i dont want anyone else to go in thinking itll slay#man the ending/solution reallly ruined my night smh. let me go eat and recuperate this letdown#it literally felt like when erika pulls all that shit out her ass at the end of ep5 to frame natsuhi. but like. thats the real ending…#umineko spoilers#for my tags
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anyone want some fun dudes perchance?
#fr#flight rising#g1#dragon sales#fr dragon sales#man idk how to tag this stuff LMAO#scry#coatl#fae#veilspun#tundra#spiral#gaoler#i'm willing to haggle#but i would very much prefer treasure over gems rn :')#i really just would like these guys out and i don't wanna have to put them in my hibden#also first guy is a leap day hatch#and both are p rare color combos#first is 1/4 total. second is 1/5 total#both are the only active dragons on site. all the others with those colors are exalted#anyway. there's no risk of them being exalted but i do really want them out lol#i need money and have no other source of it rn :'D#i really should just make a post on the forums to try to clear out some g1s in my hibden#but god that takes so much energy#and extra typing. and my wrists still suck ass lol.#ughhh#okay enough of me complaining in the tags lmao
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Random fandom/generic blog person posting a screenshot of any of my f/o like: I love him!
Me under my breath: Not as much as I do tho~
#Jealous 🥰#dw I just ignore them but yeah 😅#having a bad life rn so I'm pretty sensitive/irritated at the moment. like im just to wound up (in a bad way) to see that stuff#so I'm avoiding my fo tags even tho it sucks cause i wanna see my fo.#also avoiding reddit#just gonna sit here under my blankets and cry because man life is actually kicking my ass rn and idk what to do about it.
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series of things making me upset when they dont even matter
#eli.txt#idk man its hard to give a shit abt interacting with ppl when they clearly dont give a shit back yknow#also i went into the tungle tag for my fav movie and it all sucked ass so that didnt help with me feelin kinda bad
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Listening to Injury Reserve's self titled 2019 album cause I really love the song Three Man Weave. And man I'm sorry IR and associates but I am so disappointed lmao. Something about it just does not hit. It sounds kinda like BROCKHAMPTON at times but mostly it verges into Penis Music territory which in this case is not ideal. Man you really just hate to see it
#three man weave still fucks tremendously tho#Kurt On The Soapbox#Meeka Music Moment#idk something like that^? i need a tag for it cause I really wanna yalk about music on here#TalkLjfe and Sup both suck ass for something like this#spacehey is alright but jts way too slow and insular for me#theres no#like#feed? on spacehey? so how are strangers gonna stumble across my incredible music tastes /lh
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i need to play tales of zestiria again......
#was watching the guitar riff opening and goddddd#i remember how good that was#seriously i genuinely dont know why people didnt like the game#im reading the comments rn and a lot of people are saying the combat sucked ass#apparently#and that the story and world was bland??#like man idk what game YOU were playing but i was fascinated by the workd building#although like. i will say i think this game wouldve been better suited for like a manga or something#to really delve deep into the characters and the world and to really spend time with it#its a very story focused game rather than a like#game game if that makes sense#its like kh to me <3#anyways my list of things i randomly think abt then go oh i need to rewatch/read/play is growing....#first it was ft then it was natsuyuu then it was tcf now its toz...#and also i want to finish outer wilds of course#and also i need to read the good bye cat.....#lots to do#to bad im all responsible now 🙄#michi tag
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white americans should also be allowed to be upset about their lack of cultural identity (or the one that has been created for them)
#hate how im about to start this next tag it’s so ☝️🤓#but as a queer leftist from rural america idk man i got walmart and a racist uncle and that’s kinda sucks#that* silly thumbs#pol tag#saying this in an everybody hold hands this shit is ass way. 🤝 way.
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can you guys all please actually actually be so kind to each other and I mean it tangibly like stop being a coward about what you’ll lose cause it doesn’t fucking matter more than being kind and you know it just fucking do what you can we’ve already lost so much what is the fucking cost of being kind to you anymore. people are so fucking desensitized to their own bullshit they’re dealing with like they’re so casual and blaise and ignorant about things that even harm them directly like why not at least be kind about it why not at least deal with the bullshit that comes from being kind instead i am so sad abt this why do people have to make it so hard. like I get capitalism and colonialism and whatever plays into people being raised to be unkind but are we that fucking fallible like that really fucking sucks bro
#tagged#maybe I’m finally processing my emotions after pulling off the thing and maybe that’s good but I just don’t fucking know man#it fucking sucks#it could be 6 months of emotions I haven’t been able to fully process happening all at once#but it’s also like#am I just never gonna get closure on humans sucking ass as much as they do#am I never gonna get closure on the sheer amount of humans failing to be a safety net for the people who aren’t so kind bc turns out they#aren’t kind either#am i just gonna be fucked up abt this forever like I have been my entire life#like holy fuck god damn I am fucked up and all I can seem to do about it is try not to be fucked up to other people to keep myself sane#but what about me hello#is this the woman experience like#idk what to do bc almost no one is kind to me in a way I can fully trust#so I guess I’ll just bleed out kindness for others till I die I guess#and if I’m lucky it’ll teach them how to be kind back to me#but some people you can never be kind enough to I guess#is that really true#I get it’s to protect you from staying with toxic people forever#but what about never giving up on people what about being kind just to be kind#I don’t care abt being glorified for being kind i just want to know the kindness had an impact#I guess I’m supposed to care abt getting it back like sure yeah I deserve it too#but is that actually going to ever happen#so like whatever I’ll just keep being kind until I’m out and I just disintegrate quietly into the wind while no one even seems to like#sit with me and the weight of what I’m going through about it and really really try to be there for me even if I talk about it#I really am going though it holy fucking god damn#I thought I was mostly feeling more fucked around my period but it is a week after my period and I’m just feeeeeeling it Whoo#like I’ve slowly realized how often I’ve felt incredibly anxious and fucked up and then try to just go abt my day but it is so much more#than usual#and none of the therapists I’d maybe trust are taking insurance#how the fuck can you even start a therapist relationship when you want to vent abt covid and None of them are fucking masking anymore
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second year in a row where I go through an earth shattering breakup right before pride/hot girl summer ://///
#fuck this shit man#if they NEED to have their ex in their life maybe just dont date them#i never post on here fr i always reblog but this sucks ass#so i scream into the ether#what do i tag my og posts...idk if i ever did back in high school#malewivesrus#is that anything? im too devastated to think of smth better
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there is. one book left.
my favourite book series. which i have been reading since i was a kid.
i finally got all of them.
eight books.
and in my hands.
i hold the final one
#me tag🍭#OH I DON’T WANT IT TO BE OVER.#I DONT WANT IT TO BE OVER SO BAD.#AUUYGH#GUH…#i just finished reading the seventh one#i’ve been. pacing myself. i’ve had them all for weeks but i’ve only let myself read one every once in a while#fuuuck man…#i’ll miss it so much. even if the concert art sucks ass#i might reread them sometimes. ive read the first book quite a few times#OFUAUFUFH IDK MAN.#every single Media that has been important to me as a kid is either 1. still ongoing or 2. i never finished#or 3. both#dude………….. dude#actually not as a kid just Every Media That’s Been Important To Me#you wanna know the worst part? there is zero fandom for it.#🦈shark emoji. guys i don’t know how to handle this#what if i just never read the final book#🤔🤔🤔 terrible idea#anyway. i’m rambling
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